“Riff ‘n’ Tiff” – humor by Dig Wayne

April 12th, 2023

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Modus Dualis,” by Martel Chapman

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Riff ‘n’ Tiff

There was no time signature to save Louis Armstrong from the shivery brine. Monk volunteered to heave his piano overboard to give the lifeboat more zest but it wouldn’t budge or stay in tune for that matter.

Moisture had initiated a rift between the black and white keys.

Monk mumbled, “Ain’t that a bitch.” Louis Armstrong knew the Titanic was going down but the quarter notes it offered were worth the risk.

Back in Harlem, Miles had invented the word “motherfucker” while eating rotten apples. It caught on overnight. All the be-boos would be boosting it. Like, “Motherfucker” this and Like, “Motherfucker” that. There would be no end to it.

Back on the shivery brine, In walked Bud. His borrowed mittens offered no quarter to Louis Armstrong’s beaten chops. Breaking tradition, a little bird named Rootie-Tootie took the helm and a new one was cooled.

The baron Baroness held court without wearing a life vest, therefore all the cats and dogs barked up fertilized eggs on Louis Armstrong’s horn.

As the sun set in the east on this tale of tattles, a long lean note broke the surface with aplomb. Scaling the Dizzying rhythm tsunami,

Louis Armstrong burst the buttons on his double-front whistle and flute, and proceeded to lay a warm cable in the Queens stable with a cock-a-snoot.

Just in time… for the New Year.

Like, Motherfucker please.

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photo Christine Vlasak

Dig Wayne lives in Los Angeles, California with his wife and two children. He is a former professional singer and songwriter. For the last several decades he has been a professional actor. Dig is now an acting instructor at the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute. He is proud to be a life member of the Actors Studio NYC and Los Angeles. His poetry and photography can be found in the online magazines Felix and Citron Review. His poetry has been published in the literary journals, Askew and Spillway.

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Martel Chapman  found artistic inspiration in Francis Wolff’s cover photograph of John Coltrane’s Blue Train album, and has been creating art honoring the artistic genius of jazz music ever since.

Click here to visit his website

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Listen to the 1968 recording of Thelonious Monk playing “In Walked Bud,” with Jon Hendricks (vocal); Larry Gales (bass); and Ben Riley (drums).  [Columbia/Legacy]

 

 

 

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